


Talk Alien To Me

by sunalso



Series: Season 6 Bits and Pieces [2]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Alien Language, F/M, Humor, Season/Series 06, poor Deke, spec fic (sort of)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-13
Updated: 2019-05-13
Packaged: 2020-03-02 18:54:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,303
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18816955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunalso/pseuds/sunalso
Summary: S6. After Fitz-Simmons return to the Lighthouse, they have a handy new way to make sure nobody overhears them.Beta'd by Gort.





	Talk Alien To Me

**Author's Note:**

  * For [pobmmm](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pobmmm/gifts).



> _A/N: Written after 6x01 aired from a prompt by pobmmm. Takes place in a nebulous time in the future of season 6 when the team, Deke, and FS are all in the same place._

The Lighthouse command room was packed, and Deke felt very small as he squished into a corner of the room. Where the hell had all these agents come from? And why anyone would want to spend time in the shithole that was the Lighthouse he had no idea.

His eyes found his grandparents. They were standing nearby, hunched over a tablet. It was really weird that this Fitz wasn’t technically his…Deke scratched his chin. Time and dimension travel made about as much sense as, er, a thing that didn’t make sense. He needed to sleep.

He'd been brought here for his own safety. Or maybe the world’s safety. Mack had been a little cagey on that.

Mack sighed, the sound loud even over the chatter of the other agents. “Dr. Benson,” he said, gesturing at the main screen. “Theories?”

Deke hoped the guy had some. Things were getting weird.

“Well, this is conjecture.” Dr. Benson rubbed his temple. “But I think that we’re seeing a harmonizing of neutronic—”

Jemma scoffed, and Fitz snorted.

“You have another opinion?” Mack asked, looking at them.

“Of course,” Jemma said. “Clearly, Dr. Benson has not taken into account the effect of microgravitational eddies. We’re still building models that will provide better predictions. We should have results by early tomorrow morning.” Fitz nodded in agreement, not looking up from the tablet.

Dr. Benson glared at Fitz-Simmons, and Deke frowned. If you had gravity, you had to think about it, even at a subatomic level. The effect might be almost negligible, but it existed, and if something was happening globally, then there was no getting away from it. Duh.

Jemma pointed to something on the tablet. “I think we need to account for the spin of—” She glanced over as Dr. Benson slid closer, and switched to speaking a language Deke had heard far too often in his life: the modified Kree that was a lingua franca for this part of the galaxy. He was hardly fluent, humans not being considered worthy of learning it, but he wasn’t ignorant either. You picked up things if you lived long enough in the Lighthouse.

The main conversation in the control room turned into planning about how strike teams should be distributed, which Deke tuned out. He wasn’t much of an ops agent, or a science agent, or an agent at all. He just wanted to go back to his place and the little life he was trying to build. Having to stay put, he entertained himself by trying to figure out what his grandparents were saying. A few words were clear, like atom, direction, and force, but most of it was too high level for him, which wasn’t all that different than normal.  

Quickly growing bored, he watched Daisy and Piper giggle together as they pretended to listen to Mack. He still wasn’t sure about the blonde and purple, and where had she gotten hair bleach and dye in space, anyway?

Jemma pushed at Fitz after he said something, and he chuckled. Deke rolled his eyes. It seemed any version of his grandparents were joined at the hip and making inside jokes nobody else understood. Now it was inside jokes in Kree.

Dorks.

Fitz leaned towards Jemma, and Deke definitely caught the word for night. His look was conspiratorial and his eyes shifty.

What were they up to?

They were Simmons and Fitz, right? Had someone checked? Not imposters or carrying alien parasites?

As strange as it all was, they were family and Deke didn’t want to lose either of them again. He crossed his arms, his fingers tapping, as he strained to listen.

Jemma said something about quiet.

Oh god, this was something to keep quiet?

Fitz, who was even harder to understand because Scot’s accented Kree was not something Deke had ever heard before, replied. Night…and later? Not quiet?

What was not quiet? Explosions? Bombs? Were they going to blow the place up? Deke’s heart sped up as fear gripped him.

Fitz put a hand low on Jemma’s back.

Jemma spoke, and Deke caught the words you, planning, and…rocket? Torpedo? No, that wasn’t right. What the hell were they planning? Those were all things that exploded.

Deke took a few steps towards them, bracing to tackle evil-alien-parasite Fitz.

Fitz’s fingers slipped under Jemma’s blouse to stroke her back, and Jemma swayed towards him. He said something Deke couldn’t parse at all, but it made Jemma’s eyes dart towards Mack, then back at the tablet. Jemma replied morning and soon in her next rapid-fire speech, along with test, and something about food. Er, no…eating?

They were going to blow the place up while everyone was eating. Deke wished he had a weapon. An ICER. Something that his real grandparents had invented and not these alien interlopers. He knew he had one chance, had to take Fitz down, maybe get Jemma’s feet out from under her, and scream for help.

Fitz nuzzled Jemma’s cheek, and his hand went from her back downwards, a few fingers sliding under the waistband of her slacks. Was it a signal? A cue to set a diabolical plan in motion?

Deke cringed as the thing pretending to be Fitz nipped at the thing pretending to be Jemma’s ear. Fitz spoke again, and Deke heard…what? Your…legs, my ears, eat…and loud again?

Jemma shivered. “Stop,” she said in English. “We’re supposed to be working.”

Fitz pressed his forehead to hers and spoke in Kree. Nobody…understanding… I say… and a euphemism Deke had known since he was thirteen.

His eyes went wide. Oh. Oh god.

It was a very colorful phrase for a basic biological activity he liked to pretend his grandparents didn’t do. Deke’s stomach went funny.

At least there weren’t any bombs. Or parasites, or scary plans. Deke now knew exactly what was getting eaten and he really, really wished it was dinner.

He ran forward and put a hand on each of his grandparent’s backs. “Hey, I think this would be a great time for you two to go to the lab? Don’t you think? Awesome time. I’m sure the lab needs you. Stuff to do, there, and not here.” The people close to them had turned to look at him. “You know scientists and labs. They go together like…things that go together.”

“Deke?” Jemma asked. “Are you alright?”

His face was burning, and he still felt a little nauseous. “Never better.” He dropped his voice. “I speak some Kree.”

Both Jemma and Fitz’s faces paled.

“Yes,” Jemma said brightly. “I do think we should go. Excellent idea, Deke. Thank you.”

Fitz opened and closed his mouth twice before squeaking out an agreement.

They bolted for the door, everyone watched them retreat, before turning back to Deke.

He made a face. “Uh, science stuff. It’s exciting.” He tried to edge back towards his spot out of the way against the wall.

“You knew what they were saying?” Dr. Benson asked, looking him over. Deke wondered if the guy was up-to-date on the family relations.

“I can count to five,” he said firmly, not mentioning it was in alien.

Dr. Benson frowned, then turned away. Deke let a breath out, then yipped as Daisy appeared beside him and put a hand on his arm.

“For real, did they say anything we need to know?” Daisy asked in a low voice.

Deke coughed. “Er, not really.”

“Deke,” she warned, her hand tightening on him.

“Just their evening plans,” he said, voice cracking on the last word.

Daisy blinked, then giggled. After a moment he laughed with her. It was probably a lot funnier if they weren’t your grandparents.

“Do you need brain bleach now?” Daisy asked.

“I know that doesn’t exist, does it? Because if it does, then yes.”

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on tumlr at [ @sunalsolove ](https://sunalsolove.tumblr.com)


End file.
